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to my dearest friend, //edit//(who i'm sure will know to take this with a pinch of salt)//edit// i didn't mean to worry you so much, and i didn't know that how i felt and what i did affected you so much. like what you said, "i kinda realised i wasnt just living my life anymore", and that things we do have impacts on people around us, especially people who we are close to physically and more importantly emotionally. i'm sorry i caused you so much frustration, i just thought that by not telling you, i would save you the worry, didn't expect you to get even more anxious.. i promise next time, i'll tell you. it's my blessing to have someone like you in my life, and i'm really thankful that the last two weeks brought us closer. "over the past few weeks or so, when we've kinda got closer, opening up to each other and stuff.. and i was totally blown away by it. never wanted your presence more than anything", what you said really touched me, really, because it's not everyday that someone says this from the bottom of their heart. its the same for me too! when you're around i feel i can totally be myself, and say what i want and you'll totally understand, and not be judgemental about it. i really appreciate that. it's nice to know that there is someone out there who knows almost exactly how you feel, and even when you don't, you try to find out and do your best to give your honest opinion. when you feel helpless, i hope you'll come to me, cause you know that you're the first person i'll go to, cause i trust you. the many feelings that we go through everyday, may accumulate to undesirable feelings bit by bit even without our knowledge.. these feelings may become something that even we ourselves cannot control, so lesson learnt, clear things up from the start. lest they think you're unstable right? sometimes i may think it's stronger to walk away, but maybe there's a time to let someone you trust know how you really feel, talk it out, and things may not be as bad as you make it out to be. take control of how you feel before it takes control of you. take a stand. you learn a little or a little more from the people around you everyday, cliche as it may sound, its true. today, i learnt so many things from you, you should know better than me. i just feel that, by letting you know how i feel, is the first step to getting to know the part of us that we try so hard to hide from the world all the time. like i said, "we both made our mistakes the last few days.. mistakes that could have been avoided if we both had just said something to each other. now we know keeping quiet isn't the solution." and you agreed. that's what's important. that we should learn from our mistakes, if anything the two of us should know that better than anyone else. i hope that things cleared up after today. maybe pulled us a little closer, i know that i know a little more about you, hopefully you feel the same way. it might have been a lesson that came at price but for what it's worth, i think it did us good. it's not a crime to want "to be superman", but just take care of yourself because sometimes you wear yourself out thinking too much. remember, even when it seems that everyone has turned their back on you, there's always me that you can come to. i'm always here for you. you know that. love, athena |
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sometimes she gets the sudden rush of emotions that causes her to isolate herself from everyone else, and most of the time, she can't even explain this feeling. its this feeling that causes her so much heartache. its this feeling that makes her so confused because she doesn't know what to say when others ask her what's wrong. its this feeling that makes her feel so alone. she's feels hurt and yet she doesn't know why. or rather she doesn't want to acknowledge the reason why. let her cry a little more, and maybe everything will be ok. |
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as much as the city girl cannot stand ubin, I THINK CLASS ADVENTURE CAMP WAS FUN! thanks A03C for the great two days in the "great" outdoors.. too many things happened in the short span of 2 days, so i'll just shorten it to a few highlights! took the bunkboat to ubin and back! superfun! |
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when you take the time to sit down to talk to someone who isn't feeling himself, even if it's a few hours. and after that, that person feels a little bit better, is able to give a little smile, and says thankyou for being there to listen and talk to. even if life seems like it can't get any worse, those two little words give you that little extra boost to know that even in your darkest hour you have helped someone. i know. cause i have. felt weird at first but once you've opened up just a little, its easier to open up after that... i hope you feel better after talking. and no matter what, don't see yourself as a burden. we're always here for you. you're sweet you know? always putting others before youself.. but don't ever feel you're alone in this world k? cause you're not. emos aside.. the cambridge people are back.. bruno and geri included.. they're like so cute lah.. haha.. got a pink collin's dictionary, and PINKbeach from victoria's secret, so now i don't need the escadasummerheat no more!!! it's like really nice.. geri got me going for class camp tomorrow.. help! i'm worried! |
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you know what's the saddest thing? when the people who you have the most faith in, start to push you away.. people who you thought you trusted enough to come to you when they felt alone, or troubled. why is it that when they most need your companionship they just don't know that you're here for them? why is it that when they say that they'll choose being alone over being with the people they love, you feel angry and sad all at the same time? why? please don't feel like that, cause people around you get just as affected... please... then it sets you thinking, have i been hurting my loved ones because of how i've been writing. is it just a phase you have to pull through yourself? to see how strong you really are? or to see how many real friends you have out there to help you through the dark. whatever it is, remember you're not alone, you've always told me that, now i'm saying that to you. remember that even in the darkest of nights, there will always be the 7 little candles shining the way for you. come home soon, you're missed. i love you more than you'll ever know. |
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hm...went shopping today! got my levis jeans, two pairs for that matter! haha.. then got a new pair of specs, and i think i look pretty intellectual in them.. going for class camp next week! and i'm scared of the scary things on ubin! help!! im so not gonna get anymore tanned, i mean, people like me get sunburned and turn a little red, then go back to my normal colour.. wahh.... why why why! |
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life just seems to be spinning out of control. when your emotions get the better of you, you don't feel like doing anything but crying your heart out to people who actually care. people who don't say much but help by just being there for company. people who know when to ask "what's wrong" even when you say that you're alright with a runny nose. but then there are others who just can't see that you're smiling on the outside but crying so badly and hurting so much on the inside. and sometimes some of these people are those who you wished cared. it's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry. |
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short day. lunch at S11. 2 hours of talking with jared/jon/ain over lunch. LDJN movie screening in Lt2. more talking with jared/ain in canteen after boring show. walked home. almost got knocked down by a car, crossing the road. but i'm still alive at 7.03pm. |