stupid aileen made me so sad with her sad sad post about our trip back to rgs yesterday. ao annoyingg!! so for convenience sake, here it is for all of you rgs alumni, especially to 40906.
Today I went back to RGS. well, I went back with my guides batchmates to visit the guides. and I was all excited and looking forward to the time when we would all step into RG again as RJC seniors, older, experienced, cool. HAHA. : ))) But then it wasn't all that I expected. in fact it was... so weird. RGS is my alma mater and RGS is my former school and the fact is, I no longer belong in the school. None of it belongs to me anymore, none of it belongs to us. I was feeling quite surreal walking around in the canteen, buying packet milo from the drinks stall 1 and buying the awesome seaweed I like to eat. But then I got bored loitering around so Krystal and I decided to go up to the 4th floor to take a look at our class. well, our former class. and the moment I stepped in I saw the board at the back of the class S.W.A.T.. all at once this very strange melancholic feeling welled up inside of me. Everything was all so familiar yet so distant. The class wasn't ours anymore, but I still recognise almost every corner and how the dust always piles up on the teacher's table and how we used to check our hair in the mirrors on the side wall and how me and cheryl and chiaying used to sit together and fool around during lessons, especially maths, where cy would fall asleep and cheryl and I would sort of tell her off for that. It was just that I guess none of this every really it me until I went back today, until I walked into the class for the first time in the year 2007 and realised that it was no longer mine, no longer ours, no longer the place I stepped into every morning and that I woukd no longer return to this class as an RGS girl. It was the whole feeling of missing one large part of your life. The part of my life - 4 years in RGS - all gone and I can't get it back because you can never really relive an experience. I can't waltz in the next day and pretend I was sec four again and sit through maths physics chem lit whatever. and these all struck me at once. It's just so hard to feel that my life in RGS is history. and it means so much to me that I can't really say it; it's all gone and I've never really treasured my life in RGS. It's all... just gone.
made me all sad and soppy again, when i was just about to be happy about the fact that we're in jc. I MISS SEC FOUR LIFE! when everything was so simple, and we could have clean girl fun! not saying that i hate JC life, like aileen said, it's a new experience, refreshing, a different kind of fun. but i still miss rgs. but i guess it's something that i/we cannot relive. aileen kind of summarised what i wanted to say, so writing another blog post about how i feel about missing rg would simply be repeating what she said. but i guess that's just it. it's all.. just gone.
27.1.07